With the advent of social media, the world has changed its
perception of communication. What once used to be a methodical manner of
interaction, with due respect, proper salutation, ethics of writing, who you are addressing, the relationship between the writer and addressee, whether formal,
social or plain official etc., has now made way for a changed mood, new age
style, careless dropping of words, regardless of repercussions. The old era has
long past gone. Conventional communication giving way to free speech, freedom
of expression seeking refuge in anonymity. The so called social reform and
progression has encouraged innumerable cyber bullies and cyber harassment among
other negative attitudes.
Children subjected to
bullying often end up with severe depression
or turn into introverts, for fear of facing the bullies if they socialize.
Adults many times are subjected to stalking
and harassment depending on how successful or popular they happen to be.
Understanding the psyche of the bully isn't difficult. Often
these people fall into the category of 'losers' They could either be
school/college dropouts or adults who have failed in their personal or
professional and social lives. Wherever you choose to categorise them, one
thing definite is the availability of
time at their disposal. Their single minded obsession of finding targets to
torment and then go after them shows that they have little else to do in life.
Anybody spending more than an hour on social media any time of day/night
obviously has a lot of free time. When the mind gets idle the devil begins to
play.
Venting frustration under the refuge of anonymity is easy. The bully thinks he isn't answerable
to anyone, revels in either a fake or concocted identity, impersonating as someone
else. The victim ironically, happens to be the reverse, someone who has little
time for such extravagance, using the social media either to catch up with
friends or a stress buster, is most often, not aware of hidden enemies and
lurking dangers. That he is being stalked, his every move and behavior noticed
and most often imitated, comes to light only after the damage is done. By which
time, it could be too late.
Beware of people who are extra nice. Fake niceness is like an
epidemic. You almost feel like screaming "your artifice shows, stop being nice, get real" Being
extra gushy, mushy, eager to please are all part of trying to create an
artificial larger than life image about oneself, all with a hidden agenda to appear
smart and sought after, the grandiose amassing a momentum to gather supporters
for sympathy.
What then, is a
permanent solution to this menace? Nothing, as of now. You need to be alert,
keep yourself abreast of any situation, reduce interaction with strangers and
never waste an opportunity to report an offender, more so if it is one playing
under anonymity . For the next
generation though, like all other lessons in life, they need to learn young.
Cyber etiquette should be made mandatory as a part of grooming, growing up. A
sense of responsibility needs to be instilled along with the seriousness of
accountability to be established. You must own responsibility for what you
write. Cyber space is no different from the real world. YOU are the same
person, how you behave online reflects the kind of personality you are and your
character offline.
Finally, what is this piece doing on a Relationship Blog?
Trying to establish a link between the silent enemy and the victim. I do hope
this instills some faith and confidence in those of you who have been
traumatized by bullies, you are not alone and don't allow yourself to feel
guilty for somebody else's actions. Enjoy your time on social networking sites
by being prudent, alert, smart and wary of any dangers lurking over your
shoulders. Be smart, be happy! And always remember, Winners never quit!