A Childhood Lost

(This is purely a work of fiction and bears no resemblance to any person living or dead)

It turned out to be a cold rainy morning. The rain was coming down, roads were wet, dark cloudy skies did not add much to the mood which was already apprehensive, a silent nagging fear, since the outcome of the verdict today would decide the fate of an innocent 10 year old. A life changing event would occur in a couple of hours from now.

I choked on my coffee as I recalled the scene revealing itself before my eyes. Four painful years had passed. Nina was a beautiful six year old girl, long waist length brown hair, big beautiful eyes, dimpled cheeks and a cherubic round face, an innocent expression in those fluid eyes, a smile always playing on her lips. She had waved to me that evening, a happy tinkling laugh signalling to me, that she was out for her evening games. I waved back in a quick reflex action. Her smile was too contagious to ignore. That was the last day I ever saw her smile.

An hour later I took the longer route by the woods on my evening walk, though it was nearing sunset, some intuition told me to move ahead faster, I almost started running when I heard muffled screams inside the thickly shrubbed groves. I stopped in my tracks, not knowing whether to continue walking or invade the thick growth and figure out who it was. What if it turned out to be a couple, how awkward that would be. I almost walked ahead when I heard muffled cries of "Help"..I decided to rush in, found a tall 6 footer, black cloak around him, denim jeans, a mask on his face ruthlessly pinning Nina to the ground . I stood rooted to the spot. on seeing me, he picked her up right over his head, took out a knife and slashed her across the face and threw her down. She lay unconscious, bleeding profusely. I expected him to attack me, but he turned on his heels, let out a loud sadistic guffaw and vanished into the twilight. I panicked but had to do something. I picked up Nina in my arms, rushed for help and got her to a hospital.Repeated calls to her home yielded no response. I had to give my statement as sole withness to the proceedings. This was a trauma I would never wish even on my sworn enemy.

Medical reports confirmed that Nina was raped repeatedly. She was in a state of shock and her life was hanging in a balance. She lived in my neighbourhood with her step mother, having lost her father just the previous year. Her step mom was a reckless, irresponsible woman, arrested a couple of times for drug abuse. Despite this background, Nina was an intelligent student, good at sports and always shone in extra curricular activities. She was the ideal teacher's pet in school and very popular too.

I was running from pillar to post trying to sort out innumerable police enquiries,lawyers, her hospitalisation,Bills, her school, calls from friends, relatives, putting my own life on hold. I had to do it, not because I was the only witness, but because I loved Nina as my own and if I didn't help her, I knew no one would. Not even her mother who remained indifferent, almost as if it was my entire responsibility for having rescued her daughter that night! After weeks of building up immense pressure, media coverage, political involvement and continous visits to the police, I found a ray of hope. The culprit was arrested 3 months after the crime. Then came the trial. Visits to the court, interrogations, cross examination and half way through the proceedings, the case took a dramatic turn, the defense counsel almost trying to prove the culprit innocent.

The last three years had taken a toll on me. My personal life was in shambles. I had broken off my engagement because my fiancee had failed to understand the extent of my involvement. He asked me to help out but not to get involved. Help out? Whom? A six year old who was violated and put to shame for no fault of hers? How could she handle the future with an indifferent mother who was high on liquor and drugs all the time, a woman who changed her boyfriends faster than her clothes, men who eyed this little girl after knowing what happened with her? As if she was prey to their merciless lust? I could stand it no longer. I put my foot down and told Nina's mother to either allow her to live with me till the verdict was through or put her into foster care. Somehow, I had expected moral support from my fiancee, not indifference. His decision to break off helped me view the entire relationship with open eyes. His utter selfishness and chauvinism would perhaps have surfaced later in my life, when it was too late?

Nina's mother reluctantly agreed for Nina to live with me. This brought fresh problems. The men in her mother's life began hounding me. Something told me that the culprit was one among them. I was proved right, though it took a long time for Nina to confirm this and record it in court. All this while, Nina transformed from child to a grown up girl. From the innocent child she was growing into a recluse, her wistful eyes welling up in tears often. She stopped schooling, did not want to meet any friends, felt ashamed, started blaming herself for everything. Her only happiness revolved around me. She felt secure and comforted in my presence. I tried to spend every evening with her, counselling, listening to music, reading, watching movies, anything to take her mind away from her past. But, I have never seen her smile. Not even once in these last four years. I see only pain, a lost vacant look most of the time. Any simple outing that we have is in fear. Always looking over our shoulders to see if some disguised enemy is behind us. How long can this go on? I did have my sister help me for a year and a half, but Nina's dependence on me is scary. She simply refuses to let me out of her sight. My personal life has gone downhill. I no longer meet friends, socialise or go out on holidays. Whose fault is it? My destiny for being dragged into this situation or her step mom's fault for being irresponsible? Or the fact that they have no other relatives or friends wanting to pitch in with moral support? I dont know.

All that I now want is justice. Corporal punishment for the animal who did this to us. I say us, because Nina and I are one now. Inseparable. They say that blood is thicker than water. I dont think so. My bond with Nina is built on a foundation of shared pain and sorrow, an understanding deeper and stronger than the umblical cord. No one can severe it! What hurts her, kills me and what troubles me puts fear into her.

What will the Judge's verdict be? Will justice prevail? Will it replace innocence lost? Will she regain her lost childhood? Have a joyous youth? Are wishes granted? Prayers answered? Do miracles happen? Will I live long enough to comfort, protect, soothe and love her? Will I be able to forget this trauma and pick up the threads of my own life? Or will Nina and I remain the lone survivors who lived but merely continued to exist for each other?

I have no answers to any of these questions!If any of you find any answers, please pray, not for me, but for the innocent Nina!